Thursday, June 29, 2006
I would like to say that I’ve been reading some deep theologian’s work and found some great inspiration, or that I’ve even found something that has been new and exciting in the bible, or that I’ve prayed for something and seen a miracle. But, I haven’t. Maybe because it’s winter time and thus the natural inclination is to hibernate in more areas than escaping the cold. Maybe it’s just because I’m not recognizing the small miracles (and large miracles) in everyday life.

The thing is, I know I’m not a) abnormal, or b) losing faith or anything… I sometimes wonder if people of faith (any faith) have a hierarchy of who is better/more holy/more god-like or Christ-like etc. than someone else based on their actions and that cuts into my psyche from time to time. Maybe it’s God or my conscience prodding me to not want to stay in my state of quoness.

I have been known to ask people if they feel like God is close or far away to gauge their connection or relationship to God. I’m also wondering if feelings are a gauge to much at all.

The facts in my worldview are that God is here, there, everywhere (otherwise known as omnipresent) and what I do/don’t do, feel/don’t feel doesn’t have much bearing on His presence in my life. In my worldview, God is all powerful (otherwise known as omnipotent) and what I do/don’t do, feel/don’t feel doesn’t have much bearing on His power in my life.

I guess Christ has no room to become more Christ-like and it’s not his aim to become more me-like, but I have heaps of room to change towards Christ-likeness. Maybe I need to allow Him in to my hibernation zone some more.
posted by Melva at 6:14 PM | 1 comments
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Maybe it's just me, but if I get criticised or attacked (which happens in my job because I work for the government and generally no-one is happy with the free service they get) it hurts, can play on my mind a bit BUT I don't have that rise within me to want to defend myself. When my friends are vaguely criticised I want to seek out the perpetrator and have words. I'm not sure why this is - I process things myself and don't end up feeling scarred, so I probably should trust that my friends will do much the same.

One of the biggest times I want to defend someone is when my husband is criticised - that happens so regularly because he is a radio announcer on LifeFM (Christian radio station) and he knows how much I find it frustrating so usually he doesn't even bother to tell me cos it's no longer an issue for him... I guess many of you will have picked up from his blog that people argue with him on points of opinion (as he does vice versa actively) and I think this is constructive (usually). While there are a few attacks in comments about him on his blog as a person, the majority of such criticisms are unseen- they go via e-mail to him or his boss, or friends or mass e-mails to people other than him.
Even if my husband was a humanistic homosexual heretic who needed to read the bible because he was leading people astray, indeed he's been called the antichrist himself... I can't see how labels, calls to pray against him and attacks of his faith and standing as a Christian are at all loving, grace-filled, helpful ways to bring a lost sheep back into the fold?! I mean please... stop the tall poppy syndrome of cutting people down!

I just want to say how much I admire him... The people who label him don't get to hear his first words in the morning 'I lubs you' in very muffled sleepy voice when I wake him up with a goodbye kiss when I go to work. They don't hear his actual opinion on most things at all- they assume his opinion based on what he says (not taking into account that the job description of a talkback host is to present the opposite viewpoint presented to draw discussion and belief out). The people who criticise his faith obviously haven't appreciated where he is thanks to Christ and his personal choices despite a difficult childhood and abuse - where many would have insecurities he has freedom. They don't hear his agony over injustice, marriage break-ups, people's infidelity, abuse of any kind, tragedy and generally things that Jesus was concerned with. They don't see our visa statement with koorong books (an Aussie website for Christian books - sorry Manna fans, this will change when Manna has an easier website), fees for study at Carey Baptist college, and his generosity to a range of Christian faith based organisations (not to mention the vast amount of time he spends reading, living and breathing his faith) . The people who attack him as a person don't see how he holds my hand down the driveway to make sure I don't slip, and open the door for me and check through the house to make sure I'm safe before he goes to work. They haven't seen him play games with children and make them feel like they are the coolest child in the world. They haven't seen him guard and measure his words to ensure he builds me up rather than complain about how I'm so detailed on things and want things done when I want them done. They don't see how excited he gets with a good find of second hand clothing as he's prioritised to spend money on helping people (and God's creation). The people who pray against him don't listen (they may hear) the people who have been drawn towards Christ and the word of God through his openness to them. They don't think about the lifestyle he/we live to do something he/we believe/s in.

I could go on, but I don't want to reveal too many of the intimacies that a husband and wife see in each other. He's a fantastic man and I wish that people who criticise and attack him would just leave him be. Fine, argue opinions, but don't attack him as a person! I know that's not going to happen given the public job he has- but I can wish, and I would have thought it a reasonable wish given that the attacks are 99% from Christians?...

Final note, my husband is not a humanist, or a homosexual, or a heretic, he daily reads the bible (including study and meditation) and as far as I can tell, he's not the antichrist.
posted by Melva at 8:51 PM | 5 comments
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Well I thought that tummy buttons were only the result of the umbilical cord attachment to our Mum's in their tums, but no - I have found a useful purpose for them. Not tummy button fluff as you might think, no! As my tummy grows with our baby Selah's growth, my tummy button is popping out and allowing for some of that skin stretch that inevitably happens. Imagine if a pregnant lady had no tummy button - there'd be a whole tummy's worth of skin to keep stretching and stretching! Amazing.
It does make you wonder how much detail God might have thought through when making humans.
posted by Melva at 11:34 AM | 0 comments
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Well, our latest scan has revealed there were no boy bits to be seen on our baby. Now this has a high probability of me giving birth to a baby girl, but no-one would be stupid enough to say this 100% for sure. So, we have named our baby girl Selah (say-laa) Grace and will hope that the odds are right... if not, then well have a funny story for 'his' 21st. It helps me to feel more connected to the child within having a name and gender, though habit still has me calling her 'baby'...

Anyway, Selah is a word often seen in Psalms, and is a Hebrew word that is a musical term meaning 'pause', 'stop', 'reflect'. We can imagine that our baby will make us pause and reflect on the beauty of creation, and the beauty of grace (hence her middle name 'Grace'...Selah Creation just doesn't have the same ring!).

On that note, I'd better go and check the banana cake in the oven before it burns. I just hope the unmarked container of white stuff really was baking powder else I'll have a banana pancake.
posted by Melva at 4:30 PM | 4 comments
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Ok, so I haven't been blogging that much. So here's a wee update on good things and sad/other than good things that have been happening to keep me busy:

Good things I'm thankful for:
  • 24week old baby inside me kicking furiously
  • Good deals on maternity clothes at Savemart & TradeMe
  • Jean cooked for us last night
  • Annual leave next Tuesday and Wednesday
  • Getting to see family tomorrow in PNth/Foxton
  • Weekend away in Taupo (for a conference but still should be relaxing)
  • Friends getting engaged/pregnant
  • Cheaper rent while the house is getting renovated (bathroom/baby room)
  • Tax rebates

Sad/other than good things:
  • My Aunty died on Tuesday from a brain tumour at 65yrs. She was all set to retire after a long time of saving up for retirement. We're off to her funeral tomorrow in Foxton
  • Pregnancy coming with tiredness (I've had a twitchy eye for over a week) and heartburn, and difficulty keeping up with my pre-pregnant self (e.g. my brain can't hold as many details, cope with little changes in expectations or do as much physically).
  • Stressful, busy work
  • Not seeing my husband much due to his work hours (I have worked out we can possibly see each other for around 26hours between Thursday-Sunday, and not at all Mon-Wed... that's the maximum of how much we can 'possibly' see each other when we don't have appointments, meetings, catch up with friends etc.). Not enough for me so I just have to hang on for a few more months when I'll be on maternity leave and can see him everyday :)
  • Finding a bill we (Ritchies & Powells) had to pay. Not a major but still annoying.
  • Forgetting things (e.g. first time in 6years I brought home the work car keys).
  • Buying a seat massager on trademe that wasn't the kind I expected.
posted by Melva at 11:59 AM | 0 comments