There’s a strange phenomenon that has occurred for me at the same time as the ‘nesting’ instinct – the time where I see everything that needs to be done, and the things I’d like to clean/tidy/move/change etc. That strange phenomenon is the shifting limitations of a growing body. See I used to know how much stuff I could pack into a day without causing my body pain or overtiredness…now, it seems the littlest thing can take me 50x as long and be a pain in the butt (literally).

I’m fortunate that my husband and I live with another couple so it never works out that I have to do even half of the cooking/dishes, but it still frustrates me that it takes so much to just do my piece (so you know how it works, in our house we have one cooking night each which includes wash/dry cooks dishes, unload/load dishwasher a couple of times a week (usually on your cooking night so you have room to put stuff in the dishwasher but not specified who does it when), and one other job, e.g. vacuuming/extra cooking night, plus some aspect of grocery shopping…and then each couple does their own washing, budgeting/bills, bathroom cleaning). I tend to do some of the dishes for my husband who works nights and more of our ‘couple’ jobs.

Anyway, I’m at a point where if I do too much then my joints ache and it physically takes more effort to move than is worth it. I seem to need 10 hours of sleep each day, and fit in extra food/drink else I have shooting stars in front of my eyes when I move!

So, why is there a so-called nesting instinct, and brain alertness to do things that I can’t do!? I think I’ll have to call God on this particular design flaw.

Somehow there must be some logic to this design. Hmmm. In general in marriage (don’t shoot me for the generalisation that will follow), women still do more in the running of a household (e.g. dishes, cooking, cleaning, washing) than men. With this in mind, perhaps there is a pre-preparation for both in the couple to get used to life with a baby. Imagine if a full-term pregnant lady was able to cook/clean/garden/shop or whatever to her heart’s content 100% without stopping, then when the baby arrives and took 10/24 hours of breastfeeding, nappy changes, bathing, crying and what have you, then it might be that the change in activities in life were so immense that you struggled to adjust, and/or the partner would get a rude shock about how much had been previously done that he now has to pick up.
It’s just one of those new and extra things that force you to communicate about, force you to let go of and expect less of yourself on, force you to rely on your partner to see and do, and/or force you to face the possibility of sounding like the ‘nag’.

Maybe it’s not a design flaw after all.

We now have a baby room set up! I have a few finishing touches (like putting sheets/blankets on the bassinett, putting away new purchases) but all in all, things are ready for a tiny human life to sleep in, be changed in, be read to in, sung to in, and loved in. It's a weird thing that the rolly polly thing in my tummy is going to be out in anything up to 6weeks (max)!

I just wanted to say a big public thanks to Vania for her much needed help...we went shopping yesterday and her kids were tired but she still was happy to wander around the Baby Factory looking for things that I needed. She put the pram together, lent us a cot and clothes, and is hopefully going to help me as a support person during labour (and that's thanks to her husband too). She has been a great support through my pregnancy with prayers and solicited, wise advice and I know she'll be a good sounding board when hours of baby cries get to me!?!
Thanks Vania and bless you for being you. Everyone needs friends like Vania.

Well it was my last day at work today and I'm no longer going to receive payment for working so I'm not sure if that makes me unemployed now? Or perhaps I am self-employed with no money? Who knows. It doesn't feel any different yet -Monday morning will be the time things feel different I imagine. It's a weird phase of life waiting to give birth, being in a zone of in-between-ness, waiting for something I have no control over... still, exciting though and a time of needing calm trust in a heavenly Father who knows what next week, next month, next year will hold.

There's lots of things to do before the baby arrives so I'm hoping she doesn't come early and gives me a wee break at least. There's gardening, 5 partially read books, buying last little things for the baby's room, Christmas shopping, antenatal class/first aid course etc. etc. Of course I'm going to not be on the go all the time...I'll actually be able to see my husband everyday, I plan to hire and watch the entire 1st season of Gray's Anatomy (I missed it and now it's my favourite t.v. program), and as much as possible, watch Dr.Phil (1pm weekdays on channel 3).

Oh, and regarding Dr.Phil...I heard a rumour that he got a divorce from his wife. It's not true- unless his website is very out of date, he's still married (and has been for 29 years). Really, they must have been ugly rumours.

Well I feel like I've had a stirring from God - on Thursday- with worries floating about renovations, baby, etc. I hear from God 'don't worry, 'bout a thing, 'cos every little thing, gonna be alright'. Well it wasn't actually God - Bob Marley was singing it... but it was a lift to my spirit to remember the sparrows, to not worry, you know the feeling where you know God has spoken to you right? He can speak through anyone or anything so big ups to Bob Marley. And God.

We're off to Hamilton for the weekend where I'm catching up with a bunch of friends this afternoon for a Hamilton baby shower yay! then dinner with my family and overnight with more friends and church in the morning at our previous church home. Yay!

Have a good weekend. Try and avoid Heathrow airport.

My husband told me this week that I’m not a real blogger – and I guess he means that a real blogger would read blogs daily and add to their own at least a few times a week (like him) so I thought I’d better post what I’ve been up to lately so you know I’m not dead.
Most of my attention and energy of late has been in preparation for a baby. This might be called nesting, I’m not sure…but it seems to got hold of me more than hubby (not sure if a personality thing or a maternal thing). I have been buying books about baby care, organising to go on a family first aid course, planning when to have a housewarming/baby shower, making sure the carseat is bolted in the car by the mechanic, buying second hand kids books to fill the shelves, and generally trying to think ahead to what I might need to do in the next few weeks before I finish work, and the few weeks after that before my EDD (Expected Due Date). Yes I have started Christmas shopping.

This week my work colleagues threw me a baby shower (without games and birthing stories thank God), and I was very spoiled…or should I say Selah has already been very spoiled with homemade booties and cuddly toys, books, toys, stuffed animals, singlets, bedtime CD, photoframe, keepsake book – so many gifts all for a baby. It’s amazing how generous people are. It’s also uplifting to see the value of new life, and the celebration of such.

I do feel in a weird state of changing role identity, and out-of-controlness though. I’ll still be the general ‘child of God’, ‘wife’, ‘friend’, ‘sister’, ‘daughter’, ‘Speech-Language Therapist’ and I’ve known those ‘roles’ or ‘identities’ for awhile. It’s a new step being a ‘Mum’, and I can’t control when my child will appear, how she will appear, how I’ll adjust to her appearing, and the huge life change after that. I won’t be working for awhile, people might only ask me about the baby, and will Mumness change my role as ‘child of God’, ‘wife’, ‘friend’, ‘sister’, ‘daughter’, ‘Speech-Language Therapist’.

I’ll let you know.