There’s a strange phenomenon that has occurred for me at the same time as the ‘nesting’ instinct – the time where I see everything that needs to be done, and the things I’d like to clean/tidy/move/change etc. That strange phenomenon is the shifting limitations of a growing body. See I used to know how much stuff I could pack into a day without causing my body pain or overtiredness…now, it seems the littlest thing can take me 50x as long and be a pain in the butt (literally).
I’m fortunate that my husband and I live with another couple so it never works out that I have to do even half of the cooking/dishes, but it still frustrates me that it takes so much to just do my piece (so you know how it works, in our house we have one cooking night each which includes wash/dry cooks dishes, unload/load dishwasher a couple of times a week (usually on your cooking night so you have room to put stuff in the dishwasher but not specified who does it when), and one other job, e.g. vacuuming/extra cooking night, plus some aspect of grocery shopping…and then each couple does their own washing, budgeting/bills, bathroom cleaning). I tend to do some of the dishes for my husband who works nights and more of our ‘couple’ jobs.
Anyway, I’m at a point where if I do too much then my joints ache and it physically takes more effort to move than is worth it. I seem to need 10 hours of sleep each day, and fit in extra food/drink else I have shooting stars in front of my eyes when I move!
So, why is there a so-called nesting instinct, and brain alertness to do things that I can’t do!? I think I’ll have to call God on this particular design flaw.
Somehow there must be some logic to this design. Hmmm. In general in marriage (don’t shoot me for the generalisation that will follow), women still do more in the running of a household (e.g. dishes, cooking, cleaning, washing) than men. With this in mind, perhaps there is a pre-preparation for both in the couple to get used to life with a baby. Imagine if a full-term pregnant lady was able to cook/clean/garden/shop or whatever to her heart’s content 100% without stopping, then when the baby arrives and took 10/24 hours of breastfeeding, nappy changes, bathing, crying and what have you, then it might be that the change in activities in life were so immense that you struggled to adjust, and/or the partner would get a rude shock about how much had been previously done that he now has to pick up.
It’s just one of those new and extra things that force you to communicate about, force you to let go of and expect less of yourself on, force you to rely on your partner to see and do, and/or force you to face the possibility of sounding like the ‘nag’.
Maybe it’s not a design flaw after all.