Monday, May 01, 2006
Opinions, opinions
I'm writing when I'm tired and grumpy (I'll blame that on pregnancy) so keep in mind that generally I'm a nice person :)

I'm interested in people's opinions generally - especially opinions on things that make for interesting conversation like faith, politics, human rights (as opposed to the weather and petrol prices) but there's a line where I think people shouldn't cross over in 'sharing' opinions.

I'm 19weeks pregnant and here are some of the opinions expressed over that time so far (not by people who read my blog):
  • Oh, due in September aye?- must be a New Year's Eve baby (yes we only have sex once a year on New Year's Eve).
  • You are sick? - must be a healthy baby (there's probably some truth to that but not really comforting when you're nauseated already!)
  • You were quite sick? -must be having twins
  • You were quite sick? - must be a girl
  • You were quite sick? - must be a boy
  • Oh, you're tiny for **** weeks/months pregnant (I'm kinda glad I'm not larger yet as I can avoid random people touching my stomach, but it's disconcerting to hear that constantly when I know that low weight gain of the mother can bring about prematurity of the baby)
  • You're going to find out the gender of the baby? My friend did that and it turned out to be a boy not a girl like the scan seemed to show.

I know other pregnant ladies get similar - you're quite large are you having twins? (what a flattering)...

Pregnancy can be a beautiful time as a baby is being knitted in a Mother's womb, but it's not an uncommon phenomenon (i.e. the 6billion people in the world right now were produced by a pregnancy and birth) . I just wish people didn't always have an opinion on things that to me feel personal.

Even the idea of asking married people when they're going to have children is over the line in my view (it can take a long time for many couples to get pregnant if they can, and can be a real slap in the face each time they hear that question).

I know I have to live with it because it's part of our society/culture (do they do that elsewhere around the world?) but it's definitely one part of our society that I'm not enjoying in my present grumpy pregnant state.

Postscript: I am thankful that I'm pregnant and am generally glowing.

 
posted by Melva at 6:17 PM |


8 Comments:
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At Tue May 02, 09:30:00 AM 2006, Blogger Kevin Beck

You're pregnant?

You must be having a baby.

 

At Tue May 02, 02:54:00 PM 2006, Blogger sewfunky

I understand and can empathise with what you are saying here... as can most mothers, I guess. Just wait until random strangers start telling you these things ;) and patting your stomach. I was fairly small with my first 2 babes, and was really ill, I had hyperemesis with them all. One of the worst things I was told during that time, was when my baby was referred to as a parasite. (Due to the fact that they take all the goodness, and mum gets the dregs!) Still... a parasite! This was my wonderful gift from God, as far as I could see. I don't think Hope looks very parasitic!

Anyway, best wishes, I just saw the ultrasound pics on Franks blog. They are amazingly clear, can't remember any of mine looking so good...

 

At Tue May 02, 04:41:00 PM 2006, Anonymous Anonymous

The stink thing is that while most mothers can empathise, often it's them that are the worst culprits at expressing their many and varied (mostly conflicting) theories.... especially with the sex. Don't most people realise that all of those theories have a 50/50 chance of being right? So if it is right, it's generally not because of a sound theory, it's because of the high odds.

If random strangers (or many people for that matter) start patting my wifes stomach with me there I will be politely asking them to leave well alone.

 

At Tue May 02, 07:14:00 PM 2006, Anonymous Anonymous

hang, that's exactly what I thought about the baby! ;o)

I don't think the issue is any one individual with those comments Rach.... I think it's just that they come all the time from EVERYONE, those close to us (such as you, which is fine) but even those we don't really know who just need to say something :o)

It really is a wierd thing. It's like she's public property all of a sudden.

 

At Wed May 03, 07:22:00 PM 2006, Blogger Melva

I can't remember you saying anything Rachel don't worry!

 

At Thu May 04, 12:03:00 AM 2006, Anonymous Anonymous

Props to grumpy pregnant women who don't want o be touched by random strangers (sounds like a cheesy sitcom from a while back, only with less angels!)

Here's a piece of childless male wisdom:

I think the mini-Ritchie will be either a boy or a girl - and won't be twins. I just have a feeling...

 

At Fri May 05, 04:51:00 PM 2006, Anonymous Anonymous

Huh! I wish people thought more before they said stuff- I find, generally "they" can be quite stupid in their generalisations and comments and fricken ASSUMPTIONS.
Stuff like "when you have kids..."
You just give me a list Melva and I'll go visiting and have WORDS with folk
:o)

ps I'm a bit tired (it's friday) but generally I'm nice, but sometimes my niceness comes out as meaness in loving defence of people I love or against STUPID people who could potential hurt the people I love. It's so hard to love people who are "stupid". And expectially when you're just another "stupid" person too!
sigh!

 

At Fri May 05, 05:12:00 PM 2006, Anonymous Anonymous

Just came across your site from Franks site - funnily enough.
I'm going to say nothing but that I'm excited there will be a mini-Frank/Melva in this world and I'm also excited knowing this child will grow up with parents who know and love Jesus Christ and I'm certain you two will do an AWESOME JOB as parents. Blessings

 


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