Saturday, May 20, 2006
When I was engaged to be married, well meaning people said things like 'well after the honeymoon is over, it is really hard work' and were happy to argue in front of us and said 'things change after you get married' and other helpful comments. We weren't ones with rosetinted glasses on going into marriage so these comments were not even vaguely a wake up call, but added to the seeming enormity of the decision. (When friends of ours get engaged we now try and encourage marriage rather than try to be the instigators of a wake-up call).

Anyway, going into parenting I feel the same way. We've been around enough families (and both separately lived with families with young children) to again not have rosetinted glasses on about the enormity of parenting. It is going to be our hardest job so far, we will probably struggle financially, I'll get particularly tired and will likely be grumpy or cry more with that. We haven't experienced being parents before, so it's interesting to me that many people are doing a similar thing with our engagement 'encouragement' and trying to give a wake-up call (or at least hint at) on how hard it is. We know how hard it is going to be. It scares us! So, I'm interested what is in the NZ psyche that we can assume that people have rosetinted glasses on for decisions in life and try and knock it out of them...is it part of the tall poppy syndrome?

My wake up call is to others, and myself, to listen to people and where their thinking is at before commenting one way or another.

To turn this into a positive rather than grumbly post though, this can be another topic for wisdom however, that of parenting... If you are a parent, what are some tips you have for growing a baby into a great little person... If you're not a parent, what are some things your parents did right when you were growing up?

Things I learned about parenting from my parents:

  • Don't bite someone else you'll get a bite back.
  • Be consistent with discipline, then the threat of discipline (e.g. a look) can be enough to stop you in your tracks
  • Sometimes the best fun is the simplest (e.g. making dolls from pegs - I kid you not)
  • Read and sing to your children. They'll always remember the ones you sang/read over and over.

 
posted by Melva at 3:14 PM |


2 Comments:


At Tue May 23, 10:35:00 PM 2006, Blogger Vania

My first thought is not to believe the hype that many professionals will try to feed you about how you need to follow the lead of the baby/child first and foremost. I've found being proactive in parenting is much more helpful.

In saying this though, the best piece of advice I got as a new mummy was from my Dad. Simply put it was "follow your instincts, if you think you should pick her up then do it". Strange to read now in print, but those first weeks and months were a great learning curve for us!

Also, bowls with water in them and some spoons or utensils make for a great afternoon activity!

 

At Fri May 26, 10:04:00 AM 2006, Blogger Vania

would love to reply in detail but need to focus on packing. will get to it in a couple of days... might even blog on this exact issue!